I would like to share a story now from a long time ago. I don’t remember her name. She was having stomach issues and no one could tell her what was wrong.
I got her relaxed on my healing table and began to scan the energies of the body. I was attracted to her left knee. As I was allowing healing energy to pour lovingly forth, I asked her to look into that knee herself with her mind’s eye. As she continued to breathe in and out, with her consciousness in her knee, she began to cry softly.
I asked her to describe what she was feeling.
“Shame, and it hurts really bad. It didn’t hurt when I came in.”
“I know, ask your knee what it might want you to know, at this time.”
“I remember when I hurt this knee getting out of the car. We were in a car accident. My mom yelled at me to stay in the car. She is really upset and I know I have been very bad. I feel ashamed. I feel ashamed and my knee hurts.”
“What is going on in your life today that you are feeling ashamed about?”
“Well, I really don’t want to tell you, because I’m ashamed. Okay so, well, I made a bad mistake and it troubles me every day. I don’t think I can make it right so I just keep it inside trying to figure it out. Do I have to tell you for you to be able to help me?”
“No, but you do need to do something to be able to make it right and forgive yourself. You need to be able to speak it to someone. You came here because your tummy was in a very bad way. That is where you are holding the guilt about what you have done wrong. I will continue to transmit healing. Just continue to breathe into your knee and you will know when there is peace there.
Some time passed in silence as the healing continued. Eventually she said:
“I know what I need to do.”
She was then able to tell me about the recent shame. She also got in touch with three other times of similar instances where she was feeling ashamed. Her decision was to tell the others she needed to talk to and to share her guilt and shame.
When we met the following week she shared that her tummy was fine the minute she made her decision to share. Further, her truth in sharing turned out to be a healing for one of the people she shared with. So in a way my healing was only a way of observing her pain, being with her in it without judgment. Sometimes we just need validation, to be our truth, and still be loveable. Sharing our truth can heal so much, but we often do not share our guilt and shame, because, well—we are ashamed. We fear we will be judged.
Do you have a secret you can’t imagine anyone would understand or accept you if they knew about it? Who can you talk to that might be a witness to your pain without judgment? Could that help you to let it go? Perhaps even help someone else to let their shame go? Find someone you can trust, you will feel better.
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